I subscribe to the Moment of Happiness daily quotes from The Happiness Project. Most mornings I just glance at the email briefly before deleting, but I couldn’t bring myself to delete the quote from Monday.
“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.” Victor Frankl
Part of my hope for a month focused on balancing was, in some ways, to get to that tensionless state. February left me feeling frazzled but by the end of the last week I was frustrated that I still felt equally crazy. Balance instead meant cramming everything (including my daily goals of reading and moisturizing…) into each day.
But in the end, it’s worthwhile. I remember growing up my mom would always said, “we’ve got places to go, things to do, people to see.” Word. It’s for that very reason that I’m likely always going to feel a little crazy. I’m still attempting to find some balance (because let’s be honest, a stressed and overwhelmed Liz is not a fun one) but I don’t think the ultimate goal is to have “the discharge of tension at any cost.”
Why the change of heart? Last night I was a little bitter that before I could finally sleep, I needed to get in 10 minutes of reading (first world problems, right?). My eyes were already half closed and a gorgeous chocolate lab was ready for bed as well (dog sitting for Lindsay is how I get my dog fix until I can get one of my own). Once I started, though, I couldn’t stop. I ended up reading for almost an hour. While I paid for it a little in the morning, in some ways it gave me the balance I was needing. Escaping in a good book was probably way more beneficial than just going to bed after a long day only to wake it up and do it again.
And perhaps what it boils down to is setting the right goals — those worthwhile, freely chosen tasks. My tune might be different if I were forcing myself to take up body building or origami. So while I may not feel balanced in a zen sense (and the month is still young so I may still get there), I’m still getting something out of this month. Besides, if I weren’t striving and struggling for something, wouldn’t my life be rather boring?